Steak+ (part 2)

I awoke Saturday morning with a heavy belly and with the smell of the previous nights beef still lingering in the air. So you can imagine the task of calling up a steak house and booking a table for that same evening was not particularly appealing. But persevere I did and by noon that day I’d confirmed a table for 4 at Chiswick’s foremost meat eatery, Chakalaka.

I was first made aware of Chakalaka through a piece of direct mail which landed on my doorstep. Normally I deposit such junk straight into the recycle bin, but on this occasion an interesting headline caught my attention. Chakalaka – a South African restaurant located on Barley Mow Passage – was offering a free t-shirt to anyone who successfully completed their steak challenge. In the words of my good friend & founding S.A.S member Dylan, they could not have sent their marketing communication to a better suited recipient.

I was joined at Chakalaka by Mark Savage, Alex Edwards & Nick Kernaghan. We all agreed to take the steak challenge, which we were told involved eating 25 ounces (700 grams) of prime Rump steak in less than 25 minutes. Confident that this was an achievable task, we asked what the record time was, which we were told was a little under 10 minutes. Personally I prefer not to rush my meals, so the thought of scoffing beef at a rate of 100g/minute was not something that appealed to me. The same could not be said for Mr. Kernaghan however, who decided that the record was his for the taking. When the steak arrived Nick wasted no time in getting started. And within a couple of minutes he had made a mighty dent on the Rump.

Meat Mountain

Chakalaka is most accurately described as a themed restaurant. The decor is hideous, complete with zebra prints, Zulu artwork and other South African paraphernalia. The waiters and bar staff are nice people – our waiter John in particular – but they are certainly not knowledgeable about the food they serve. My expectation of the food we were going to eat was therefore not very high.

But when I first tasted the Namibian organic rump I was more than impressed. The meat was cooked to perfection. I ordered it medium-rare, as I find rump steak that is cooked rare usually retains a little too much blood for my liking. It was slightly salted and had a great texture and natural flavour to it. For those who like sauce they had either a mushroom,pepper or monkey gland on offer. However being a purest I opted for none of the above.

Whilst the rest of us slowly chewed our way through our mountains of meat, Nick was well on his way to smashing that record. By the time he’d finished his last mouth-full only 8 minutes had passed, a pretty impressive feat by anyone’s standards. The remainder of us all managed to empty our plates within the 25 minute threshold and were deservedly presented with our Chakalaka t-shirts soon after.

We wobbled out the restaurant at about 11PM and stopped for a brief night cap before heading home.

I’ve calculated that this weekend I have eaten almost 2 kilos of steak. Note to self: go for a long run this week and book yourself in for a colonic.